iGot Kicked Out And My Best Friend Hates Me
by The Fragile Capricorn
Summary: Poor Sam Puckett. She was just having fun. Blowing up the furnace in her house and stuff. So when she gets kicked out of her house, she finds a place to spend the night.
1. So I Totally Trashed My House Big Deal!

**iGet Kicked Out (And My Best Friend Hates Me)  
**_So what is Sam Puckett to do?_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_No. Obviously, I do not own iCarly, Sam, Freddie, or the next door neighbor's dogs. _

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**Chapter One: So I Totally Trashed My House. Big Deal!**

"Aww! Come on, let me in!"

Sam banged on the Shay's apartment door loudly. So loud, in fact, that the racket she was making woke up a poor, soon-to-be-unemployed-if-he-doesn't-stop-being-so-unpleasant Lewbert, who screamed and took hold of a broom and headed down the basement, ready to take on rats and the large, horrible, undiscovered species of insects that apparently wanted to take over his little room down there. Oh, you really should have seen him run. It scared a baby, and the baby wasn't even awake at that time.

Carly, of course, heard Sam's racket, but she didn't want her best friend inside the apartment now.

"No way, Sam! Not until you've made right the wrong you did!" she shouted over the din of the blender and Spencer's shrieks of delight after discovering an old videogame system he used to play as a kid, hidden under the piles of pink-and-green underwear that served as his pet beetle's bed.

"So I blew up the furnace, set the couch on fire, broke a few windows and used toothpaste to glue my grandma's teeth to the dog. I was just having fun!"

"You've gone way too overboard now, Sam," Carly retorted. She got tired of having to hear over the random noises that she headed to the door and opened it wide enough for Sam to see her, but not so much so that Sam won't have a chance to slip in.

"But I thought my mother would believe me when I said Gunther dug up a time bomb in our yard and decided to blow up the furnace, setting the couch on fire and making my grandma so shocked that she accidentally let go of her dentures while she was brushing them. "

"And you expect her to believe that?"

"Psh. Yeah. She'll believe anything. Last time, I told her a hobo ate our chocolate cake and made a horse trample on her vases, and she set out to find a chocoloate-cake eating hobo and teach the guy a lesson with her broomstick." Sam snickered at the silly thought.

"Still, you've gone overboard, Sam. Don't you ever feel sorry for your mother?"

"Don't you feel sorry for me? Out here, alone, kicked out of the house. Hamless..." Sam looked down at her feet and looked positively lost, but being her best friend, Carly knew better. Sam would have tricked any other unassuming girl who had a kind heart (especially since, for some reason, Sam was a great actress), but not Carly.

"I do feel sorry for you, Sam. But I couldn't help but get the impression that you're making fun of your mom! So until you get yourself there and apologize to her, I won't let you in."

"But Carly!"

Too late. She shut the door, and the sound of the blender went on again.

_Mmm. Blenders. Reminds me of fruit shakes. Or smoothies. _

Sam rubbed her stomach, obviously hungry. But she had no money, she had no home to get to (would you really think Sam would say sorry now?), and worst of all, Carly wouldn't take her in for the night. Or for a week. Where should she go?

She ticked off all possible places. Carly's and her home were off the list. Groovy Smoothies definitely drove off those who stayed overnight. The park was filled with hobos. Lewbert's was definitely not there. Gibby's? No. Ms. Briggs? Definitely not. Break in school and sleep in the clinic? Oh, but the bad-tempered school nurse lived there.

Finally, she ran out of all possible places, until she only had one left.

_No way._

_Way, _a nagging voice broke in.

_I couldn't do this. No, you've got to be kidding me. Not THAT place! _Sam thought desperately to herself. _I'd rather go to juvy!_

_Juvy my butt! Get in there! They've got ham._

_Ham?_

_Yes, ham! Don't you smell it?_

_Boy, _Sam thought to herself again. _Nagging voice in my head's right. There is ham. I can smell it._

So she plucked up all the courage the go and knock on the Benson's apartment door, trying to resist the urge to just let her hunger pass and sleep outside the Shay's door. Sam Puckett was not the one to let the opportunity to eat ham and satisfy her hunger pass. She'd die or go into a nerd's house just for ham. That's how much she loves the stuff.

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_**A/N: **Second Seddie fanfic here. I actually planned the whole story to be a oneshot, but I guess it needs three chapters to encompass the whole plot. But whatever. The more the merrier, right? Reviews are well appreciated, although could you guys do me a favor and tell me in detail what you think? I'm kinda getting tired of comments that say 'good job' or 'i liked it' or something. Ohyeah. Tell me the weak points too, so I could make the story better._


	2. Okay, What Just Happened?

**iGet Kicked Out (And My Best Friend Hates Me)  
**_So what is Sam Puckett to do?_

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**Disclaimer. **I still don't own iCarly or any related stuff.

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**Chapter Two: Okay, What the Heck Just Happened?**

Sam blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice.

_Knock? I don't knock_! She thought to herself. Yes. Sam Puckett does not knock on doors. There are three things she does that can be called "knocking on doors" on her book: pick the lock, just go inside, or kick down the piece of wood. Poor piece of wood. Had to face the wrath of Sam. Of course, Sam knocked on doors sometimes. She knocked on Carly's door, or the comfort room, or the principal's office. But she never knocked on _Freddie Benson's _door.

_No need to knock_, she told herself and just opened the door. Sam never did pay attention to people going through the doorway, so she barged right in, confident that the ham will be all hers to gobble up. It smelled good. And she doubted that Mrs. Benson cooked this. They probably bought it someplace. Ham Haven, perhaps?

Well, Sam was too lost in thought to even notice that Freddie was going the opposite way, and (unfortunately for Freddie), they crashed into each other. Sam lost her footing and fell backward. Freddie lost his and fell on Sam. And if that wasn't bad enough for the both of them, Freddie was actually holding the ham Sam longed for very much and it flew into the air, right across the hall, thumped on the Shay's door, made Carly peek out through the viewing hole and, seeing that the two were in a very delicate position right now, made Carly faint. Spencer didn't notice her sister lying on the floor in a crumpled heap six hours after, when he decided to get some food.

Back to Sam and Freddie.

It took Sam a few seconds to realize who was on top of her. On top of _her. _Sam struggled under Freddie's weight. Freddie was on top of her because of some unfortunate mishap, and Sam was under Freddie because she didn't bother to knock. But what's worse than him being on top of her, or Carly seeing them in the hallway lying down just like that? Well, for Sam, it would have been the ham gone to waste. But they kissed. Well, almost. It was more of a 'their-lips-accidentally-brushed-each-other' kind of thing. But anything that remotely resembles a kiss would have been bad enough. So Sam kissed- ALMOST kissed - Freddie. And vice versa.

Hurriedly, they got off their precarious position, dusted their clothes. Sam gave Freddie a death stare, but Freddie looked blank. Really blank. In a creepy sort of way.

"You have five seconds to apologize to me, Fredweird, before I start ripping your arm off," Sam threatened.

"_I _have to apologize? But you were the one who didn't knock on the door!"

"Since when do I knock on the door?"

Freddie stopped. _Oh, right. _

"Look, Sam, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I got on top of you accidentally, and I'm so sorry your ham flew away," Freddie said, scratching his head. He wasn't up for a fight. The New Year's coming and he was determined to change. At least, get mature enough to understand Sam's... differences.

"You better be sorry or- wait, what do you mean my ham?"

"That one. It's supposed to be yours. Mom stocked up on ham and chicken and other meat products for some reason this week, and I figured if I can give you ham, you'd at least be appeased or something." _And maybe you'd be a lot kinder to me and stop getting me in a headlock every four minutes,_ Freddie thought.

"And why would you, of all people, would give me something as nice as ham?"

"Look, I'm just trying to be kind here. I heard you were kicked out by your mom because you practically blew up your house into oblivion, and I heard Carly won't let you in until you fix everything up, so I took the initiative to at least give you something to eat."

Sam knocked Freddie's head.

"Wait. Why are you doing this? What's happened to you all of a sudden?"

"Sam, I'm just being kind to you," Freddie reasoned.

_The world's gone wack, that's it. It's not reasonable anymore. Carly hates me, mom doesn't believe me, and Freddie's kind to me. Next thing I'd know, Lewbert is sane._

A crash down the lobby, and Lewbert screamed. "RATS IN MY LOBBYYYY!"

_Okay, _Sam thought. _Scratch that. Lewbert is still insane. At least something's right in this world._

She picked up the ham on the floor and started eating, watched by the seemingly disgusted Freddie. _Oh, yeah. This ham's right too._

Sam tore the meat, and in between mouthfuls, she managed to say, "I'll stay in your apartment tonight, whether you like it or not" to Freddie. He nodded, scared that Sam might actually rip his arm out if he refused. And besides, his mom was out. For the night. She was with her parents, and was initially hesitant at leaving her son behind. But she got next door neighbor's Mrs. Jones to promise that she'll look after Freddie. Mrs. Jones is the most forgetful old woman on their floor. She slept all day and woke up at night to watch wrestling, and never remembered her promise to Mrs. Benson.

"Get out of the way," Sam said as she swallowed the ham. She pushed Freddie out of the doorway and crashed to the couch. She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, put her legs on the table and obnoxiously threw away all the 'ineffient' parts of the ham. Freddie closed the door and looked at Sam like she was some sort of hobo who broke into his house.

"Sam," Freddie started. "Would you mind keeping everything neat and clean? I wouldn't want my mom to freak out."

"Uh, no. And, by the way, your mom ALWAYS freaks out."

"Whatever. I'll be in my room."

"Bah. Suit yourself, nerd," she said. Then, "do you have a can of soda there?"

"Knock yourself out." Freddie pointed to the fridge.

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Freddie spent the next hour and a half in his room, using his computer. He almost forgot about Sam, until he recounted the days events and remembered their unfortunate encounter in the hallway. Freddie had to be honest with himself - he liked that. The 'lips-accidentally-brushing-each-other' thing. He smiled, remembering the kiss they shared down at the fire escape. They did it _just to get it over with_. But was it really just to get it over with? He mentally slapped himself and decided to check on Sam, fervently hoping that it wasn't their couch that was on fire next.

"Sam."

Snore.

"Sam!"

Still snoring.

"Wake up, Sam."

Sam was sprawled on the couch like an uncivilized female caveperson, mouth open, ham still in her hands. The TV was now showing a cooking show, and was probably the last thing Sam saw before she fell asleep based on the things she'd been muttering.

Freddie sighed. He'd have to clean up the living room because of the mess Sam caused, so he decided to carry the girl to his room (he definitely didn't want a trace of Sam Puckett in his mom's room). It took him a few minutes to do so (Sam wasn't a light sleeper, but she wasn't one to stay put while sleeping, either), and when he finally did have Sam on his bed, he felt like his back was broken. So he decided to sit down and look at previous iCarly stuff. He clicked on an untitled clip, and it started playing "Kelly Cooper: Terrible Movie." Freddie loved this clip so much. Carly looked so funny, and for the first time ever, Gibby looked nice. Well, a little bit. But Sam.

_Darn it. Get a grip, Freddie. _

He admitted it to himself - Sam was a great actress, and if she made more effort to be girlier, she'd actually be attractive. Again, Freddie mentally slapped himself. _But it was true, wasn't it?_

Freddie got up, obviously not liking how things were turning out. He becomes kind to Sam and he starts getting all these uncalled for thoughts. He looked at sleeping Sam one more time before going out, and had the incredible urge to lie down beside her and hug her. Or kiss her. Freddie frowned in disgust. He went to the living room, turned off the TV, picked up the messy stuff, threw everything in the garbage can and went back to his room. And there was Sam again, sleeping, yet beautiful. Like an angel. Riiiight.

Freddie sat down on his bed, looking at Sam. Like the normal teenage boy that he was, hormones raged inside him.

_Kiss her!_

_No way!_

_Take the chance to kiss her! It's not like she's gonna feel anything._

_But that's Sam, _he reason to himself. _This is stupid._

_JUST TO GET IT OVER WITH, FREDDIE._

_Hmph._

He eyed Sam cautiously. Sam, who bullied him everyday. Sam, who made him feel worse than he already was. Sam, who wanted to hurt him in every way imaginable. Sam, who stole his lunch money. Sam, who broke into his house and told his mother he'd been hanging out with hobos. Sam, who told the world that he hasn't kissed a girl yet. _Sam, his first kiss. _

"GAH!"

He lied down on his bed with a thump, and moved just in time before he landed on Sam. He turned sideways and watched her breathe peacefully. Sam. Freddie sat up again and leaned closer to Sam. He brushed off a few strands of hair from her face and looked at her long enough for him to actually get the courage to kiss her again. This time, a real kiss. Not the brush-your-lips thing. More of a kiss like the one they shared in the fire escape.

He leaned down slowly. Slowly. Savoring the moment. And finally, at the last second, he got to kiss Sam. A feeling of happiness washed over him, a feeling he'd treasure for the rest of his life. Good that he'd do so, since the next second, Sam was strangling him.

"What the heck are you trying to do, Freddie?"

"I was just-"

"You were just kissing me, dork!" She threw him across the room. He crashed to the wall.

"I'm sorry, I just... I thought..."

"You thought you could take advantage of me while I was sleeping?"

"No!"

Sam grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up until they were face to face. They were so close to each other that Sam could _hear _his heart beat fast enough to beat any self-respecting quick-footed superhero in a race. afraid.

"Better get ready, Benson. I'll give you the worst beating of your life."

Freddie closed his eyes in fear. Sam could do ANYTHING to him. She could throw him out of the window, she could mess up his room and bury him under all the stuff, she could have him in a headlock until he passes out, she could break his arm, tease him in school for wearing underpants with namese and days of the week on it (_I hope she didn't mess with my drawers, _he thought), and probably be her slave for a week. But he didn't get what he expected. Sam pushed him to the wall and kissed him. On the lips. KISSED HIM. Oh, was that unexpected. And weird. For Sam, anyway. She actually thought of what she was doing, but the deed was being done and there wasn't any way to take it back. She liked his kisses, anyway. Even if he was a dork.

And it lasted for what seemed to be an eternity to the both of them before Sam decided to break the moment.

"Tomorrow," she finished. She gave him an evil smile and threw him back to the floor. "Thanks for the ham, dork," she said as she proceeded to the door.

"Sam, wait!" Freddie scrambled up, but halfway through his attempt, his back became painful.

"Tomorrow, Fredward."

Sam closed the door behind her.

_I wanted a sweeter kiss, _Freddie thought grimply to himself, remembering their encounter in the fire escape. _It would've been so much better if I knew that Sam won't actually push through with the beating up part._

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_**A/N: **Second chapter. I get on with these things fast. This story is one chapter short, since I'll have to include another scene. Well, as I've said, the more the merrier, right?_


	3. Title Is Too Long

**iGet Kicked Out (And My Best Friend Hates Me)  
**_So what is Sam Puckett to do?_

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**_Disclaimer: _**_No. Obviously, I do not own iCarly, Sam, Freddie, or the next door neighbor's dogs. _

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**Chapter Three: Next Thing You'll Know, Lewbert's Wart Disappears.**

Sam blinked. Twice. Thrice. She spun around and studied the Benson's apartment door like it was a complex math problem. How stupid was she to make that scene? She had no place to stay, and the only place that she could think of (aside from juvy, and she definitely won't go to juvy whatever happens) suddenly looked so poisonous and toxic. She can't go in _there. _Not after kissing Freddie like that. But Carly won't let her in and she just can't drop on the floor and sleep like some lost kid. No.

_Brilliant. So I guess I'll just have to sneak in there and stay in his mom's room for the rest of the night._

Sam blinked again. Brilliant idea. So, Sam snuck inside the apartment quietly, after standing for about ten minutes outside. She went in as quietly as she could, and knew she was clever enough to escape Freddie and get some good night's sleep at the same time. And maybe smuggle a strip of bacon or two.

Well, who's the smart geek again between the two?

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Freddie wasn't stupid. He's clever. In fact, he's much more clever than Sam in expecting stuff. Well, he's learned to read Sam and so, she's become much more predictable to him now than when they just met. Sam just let it slip - she didn't have anywhere else to go, and obviously, the Benson's was her last choice. So obviously, she'd try to break in and hide from him, probably in his mother's room.

Freddie crouched behind a large couch , and waited for the door to open. It did, and he heard Sam shuffle inside, seemingly shooting glances everywhere as if she was there to rob their apartment. Well, knowing Sam, she'd probably take the chance to do so. Before Sam could go on any farther than the living room, Freddie jumped out from behind the couch and pinned her on the floor, looking fierce.

"Got you!"

Sam struggled under Freddie's weight, surprised at the fact that Freddie was pinning her down on the floor. She always thought he was a wimp. Now, he was showing her otherwise.

"Get off me, dork!"

"Not until you tell me why you kissed me."

Sam grunted. _Like you didn't._

"I won't tell you unless you get off me," she said. Freddie shook his head.

"No way. You'd just sprint out and escape."

Sam rolled her eyes. She struggled underneath him, trying hard to escape. But boy, was Freddie strong. "Come on, Freddie, just let me go. I promise I won't escape."

"Heh. Yeah right," Freddie scoffed.

"I promise," Sam said again. She put in the most convincing tone she could. The same tone she used when she made Freddie try to tell her the idea he had during their encounter in the fire escape. Well, how could Freddie not believe? Sam sounded very sincere, looked very sincere, and Freddie was sure she _was _sincere. So Freddie gave in and got off Sam, who stood up and dusted her clothes and looked Freddie straight in the eye.

"Alright," Freddie started. "Why did you kiss me?"

"I was just getting even with you. _I _should be the one asking _you _the same question. Why did you try to kiss me while I was sleeping?"

"I, uhhhh..." Freddie looked at his feet and rubbed the back of his neck. Why exactly did he kiss Sam? Was it just that intense need to feel that feeling he felt with his first kiss? Was it because he liked Sam's kisses so much? Or was it just the raging teenage boy hormone inside him? He shook his head. "Err, hormones?"

"That's it? _Hormones?_"

"I guess so, but..." _Boy, this is turning out to be very familiar, _he grimly thought his head as another stupid (and probably true) idea brushed his geeky little brain.

"But what?"

"N-nothing, it's stupid..."

"Tell me!" Sam insisted, but Freddie was firm. _No._ He shook his head. Sam grabbed his arms looking straight into his eye like never before. "Come on."

"Well... Well I..."

"Freddie!"

"Okay, okay!" He breathed in deeply, and prepared himself for the worst that could happen. With Sam in the room, one could choose from a variety of "worst things that could happen". It's just a case of guessing which one was it, and Freddie knew Sam well enough to guess that she might break his spine if he told her. Nevertheless, Sam insisted. _Where were the days when we hated each other to no end? _Freddie thought to himself. "I guess... I think I... you know... I like you."

"What?"

"You heard me. I like you." _This is stupid._

"Seriously?"

Freddie nodded, and immediately wished he didn't confess because Sam looked positively dangerous and gave him an expression that he just signed his own death sentence. Then, all of a sudden, Sam's face fell blank. She let go of Freddie's arms and silently went to his room, muttering 'goodnight'. This made Freddie confused. She didn't beat him up, but she didn't really do anything else except go. Freddie sat on the couch and buried his face in his hands. _Is the world going crazy?_

He decided to give Sam some space, and deemed it safe to sleep on the couch for the evening.

* * *

Sam fell on Freddie's bed. _So he likes me. _She tossed and turned and generally made the mess out of Freddie's clean and uncrumpled bed sheets, blankets and made the pillows look like they were sixty years old. The stuff still had some sort of 'dork scent' as Sam called it. She grinned. _I guess I can live with that... Eww, no way. I'm starting to like the nerd. Ugh._

* * *

There was something about the computer's presence that made Freddie feel comfortable, and the fact that Sam was alone in his room with the computer made him feel increasingly uneasy. And he couldn't sleep without knowing that his computer's safe, at least. So Freddie stood up from the couch and went to his room. Cautiously, he opened the door and saw the computer safe and sound, and Sam asleep. Well, Sam really didn't go to sleep without ruining at least something, but he was glad it wasn't his computer.

Freddie knew he was supposed to close the door now, since he knows his computer was safe. But he couldn't bring himself to do so. His crazy teenage boy hormones made him stop and stare at Sam who, despite looking like she was not well-informed about sleeping etiquette (is there even such a thing?), she looked like an angel. _Whenever did I think Sam looked like an angel while sleeping?_

Nevertheless, Freddie made his way to the bed and sat down on the crumpled sheets. Like he did earlier, before Sam was ready to murder him, he stared at her and put away a few strands of hair away from her face. And then it happened. Uncontrollable hormones (or because of finally accepting the fact that he likes Sam more than Carly or something as horrible as that) drove him to lean in and kiss the sleeping Sam. And, of course, Sam woke up. Freddie was terrified. For a fraction of a second only, though, because it took him that long to realize that Sam wasn't trying to make a move to beat him up. Rather, she was kissing back.

And when they broke away and he gave her a weird, 'what-in-the-world-just-happened-between-the-two-of-us-and-would-you-care-to-explain-why-you-did-that' look (try to imagine it), Sam shrugged, grinned, and said simply, "hey, I guess I like you too."

It was Freddie's turn to blink. "What?"

"Are you deaf or did you just forget to clean your ears because your mom brought your clean-up chart?" She punched him in the arm so hard that it brought Freddie back down to earth from his own personal heaven after hearing Sam say she liked him too. He managed to let out a small 'ow'.

"Really? Is it true?" Freddie asked her. This was too much to handle. He suddenly thought it was a good thing Sam trashed her house.

"Yeah, yeah."

"This is crazy. What's happening to this world? We hate each other," he mumbled.

"We _used _to," Sam corrected. "Next thing you know, Lewbert's wart disappears. And Miss Briggs actually gets a boyfriend this time and moves away to Yakima."

She yawned.

"Now go away. I need to get some sleep," Sam said, crashing back down with a thud to the bed.

Freddie smirked. "Not without my goodnight kiss."

"Pfft. Don't push it, dork. We're not boyfriend and girlfriend."

"We should be then, don't you agree?" he suggested. Sam glared at him.

"Don't push it." She reconsidered. "Unless, of course, you want to get hospital bills more expensive than all prestigious schools in this country."

Freddie sighed, disappointed. Although he did manage to get Sam (sort of) to confess, too. And that was good enough, wasn't it? Sam tried to push him off the bed. "Go away. I need some sleep. Please?"

"Sure, sure."

"Oh yeah. Hey dork?" Freddie stopped at the doorway and looked at Sam. "That boyfriend-girlfriend thing? Let's talk about that tomorrow," she said, grinning. Freddie nodded, smiling.

"You know what, Sam? This is all stupid. Weird. Crazy. It's like we're not us anymore. Did somebody mess with reality?"

"Go away, Freddie. I don't want to think about whatever machinations have been devised to get us to this point. I need sleep!" Sam stood up and kicked Freddie out of the room. She admired her handiwork (or should I say footwork?), seeing Freddie on the floor and in pain. She bent down, patted his head and said, "good night!" before planting a kiss on his cheek and punching him straight to the stomach. Sam closed the door before Freddie could say anything.

"This... is... crazy..." Freddie stood up and tried to endure the pain, collapsing to the sofa. But whatever. This was all good. As long as he won't die in the attempt of being Sam's boyfriend (if ever he will be - Sam said they'll talk about it tomorrow morning, right?), everything will be fine.

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_**A/N: **And that, sirs and madams, is the end of my fanfic. This chapter, in my opinion, is pretty much a lame one. Ran out of ideas for the ending, because I just made it all up as I went. Well, hopefully, a handful of you (or more) liked the fanfic enough. So review? Constructive criticism. Please? Any comment that makes sense, is in detail, isn't vague and stuff would be appreciated._


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